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HOLDING ON TO LOVED ONES

During the course of our lifetime, we will have experienced many struggles, some of which are extremely hard to move beyond.


Most of us experience the loss of a relationship, especially when we are young. A breakup can be so in intense and devastating that we hold on blindly, hoping that circumstances will change and our partner will miraculously come back to us. Sometimes, this does happen and if so, this usually does not happen until we have actually finally let go. The act of letting go often opens the door to what needs to happen next.


If we are blessed with longevity in life, it is inevitable that we will experience our parents becoming old and feeble. Many parents, if they live long enough, will likely lose the ability to take care of themselves without have some type of assistance. We each do our best to show them the love and support they need. Eventually, they move beyond this material existence and we have to learn to release and allow. They are always with us but certainly not in the form and energy that we are accustomed to.


Life in this material world is finite. For most of us that are left behind, (family and friends) the struggle with loss is real and challenging. Losing friends and family is challenging.


In some cases, we were able to prepare for the final day, but most times, death is unexpected. Many feel at a loss even for the little things such as not being able to say goodbyes.


Those that love us would never want us to hang on to the past, as life on this earth is for the living. Living in the past is not living, it is only existing.


A friend once said after losing his wife that he refused to grieve. Instead of grieving his loss, he chose to celebrate that he and his wife were able to share the years that they had together. He had no regrets. His attitude truly supports the saying “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. What a wonderful way to look at the death of a loved one.


Each of us deal with grief and loss in our own way. There is no right way and there is no wrong way. We have to reach deep within and find our personal answers.


No matter how we decide to grieve any loss, eventually we have to let go and move on to be able to live again. If we choose to hold on and not let go, then actually more than one person stopped living during that one death experience.


We will never forget and why would we want to. Celebrate the experiences that have been shared. Nothing can take those away.


Our loved ones are never far away. When we think of them, they are close by. Do not be afraid or uncomfortable to talk to them. They hear you. Many times they respond if we are open to their responses. Pay attention to the smells when you are thinking of them. Pay attention to how you feel when you think of them. They show up in so many different ways.


If you are at a crossroad and someone near and dear has left you, let go and allow. This will open doors that would otherwise be left closed. Allow yourself to live again. We are never alone and we can always reach out for support if it is needed.


Live life to its fullest. Be in the moment and appreciate life’s wonders as they are ever present yet only experience by those who are open to them.


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