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We have heard many conversations lately concerning negative treatment. Imagine that you have just been mistreated, perhaps physically, mentally or emotionally. As a result, you are not only hurt but you are also angry and want revenge. What do you do about this? How will you react - in thought and in action?

Throughout life, I am sure you have heard the statement “Two wrongs do not make a right”. Do we just sit by idly and let negative action slide?

This may not be the first time you have been victimized by this individual. Last time, you may have done absolutely nothing. Is this why it has happened again? Perhaps your lack of action has made it easier for this individual to repeat their actions but YOU ARE NEVER responsible for someone else’s actions.

If you are suffering physical abuse, take action to protect yourself. If it is your partner, it is time to reassess your relationship. If it is a friend or acquaintance, it is time to reassess this relationship. No one has the right to physically harm you. If you live in fear because of this individual, seek assistance. Love yourself enough to ensure you are safe and can be happy.

If you are suffering from emotional or mental abuse, the same response is warranted.

There are certainly times in life when someone will speak hurtful words (without intent) and may not even be aware of the pain they have inflicted. Sometimes in anger, we can say things that are exaggerated and hurtful. Talking through these situations most often has a positive response. Each of us may have emotional triggers that no one else is aware of. Talking about what was said more often than not uncovers unresolved issues that may have nothing to do with the individual that triggers the emotional hurt.

Even if the words were intentional, talking it through can get to the bottom of why harsh words were exchanged. It is better to resolve issues than to let them fester and become bigger than life.

Forgiveness is a wonderful response. Do not live under the dark cloud of someone else’s actions or words. These are things that you cannot control and are not yours to own. They are a reflection of the individual that acted, not you.

If you are the individual that said the hurtful words, it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong or said the wrong thing, even in the heat of an argument. Admitting your error and taking action to correct it will go along way and says something about you as an individual.

If the words strike home because they have a flavour of truth, it also takes a strong individual to step up and apologize under these circumstances as well.

If you feel the desire for vengeance and really want to get even, recognize that although you might actually feel temporary relief after the action, it is just that, temporary. Buddha has been quoted as saying “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”.

We will heal if we choose to let go and not own the actions or words used. Forgiveness is a giant step forward in healing. There have been some very meaningful relationships formed through these types of first meetings or interactions.

Let love be your guide. Come from a place of love and peace for self and for all others. If we truly look for this, it can easily be found because this is our true identity.

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