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We have heard much talk lately concerning negative treatment.

Imagine that you have just been mistreated, perhaps physically, mentally or emotionally. As a result, you are not only hurt but you are also angry and many may even want revenge. How do you deal with this? What is your react - in thought and in action?

Throughout life, I am sure you have heard the statement “Two wrongs do not make a right”. Do we just sit by idly and let negative action slide?

This may not be the first time you have been victimized by this individual. Last time, you may have done absolutely nothing and just let the actions slide. Is this why it has happened again? Perhaps your lack of action has made it easier for this individual to repeat their actions.

YOU ARE NEVER responsible for someone else’s actions.

If you are suffering physical abuse, take action to protect yourself. Whether this individual is your partner, friend, acquaintance or stranger, it is time to reassess your relationship with this individual.

No one has the right to harm you intentionally. If you live in fear because of this individual, seek assistance. Love yourself enough to ensure you are safe and can be happy.

If you are suffering from emotional or mental abuse, the same response is warranted.

There are certainly times in life when someone will speak hurtful words (without intent) and may not even be aware of the pain they have inflicted as a result of their actions or words. Sometimes in anger, we can say things that are exaggerated and hurtful. Apologizing and talking through these events most often has a positive response.

Each of us has emotional triggers that no one else may be aware of. Talking will uncovers unresolved issues that may have nothing to do with the individual that triggered the current emotional reaction.

Even if hurtful words were intentional, talking it through can get to the bottom of why these were expressed. It is better to resolve issues in their tracks than to let them fester and become bigger than they really are. When something festers, it grows.

Forgiveness is a wonderful response for your own physical and mental health. Do not live under the dark cloud of someone else’s actions or words. These are things that you cannot control and are not yours to own. They are a reflection of the individual that acted or spoke them, not you.

On the other side of the coin, if you are the one that caused the hurt, remember it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong even if it happened in the heat of an argument. Admit your words or actions and apologize. Your remorse will go a long way to heal the recipient of your words but most of all, you will benefit from your own apology as well. Even if the words that were spoken had a flavour of truth, it is not wrong to apologize for striking out at someone.

If you feel the desire for vengeance and really want to get even, recognize that although you might actually feel temporary relief after seeking your revenge, it IS temporary. Buddha has been quoted as saying “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”.

You WILL heal if you choose to let go and not own the actions or words of someone else. Forgiveness is a giant step forward in healing. There have been some very meaningful relationships formed through these types of interactions.

Let love be your guide. Come from a place of love and peace for self and for all others. If you truly look for this, it can easily be found because this is your true identity.

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