It is challenging yet very exciting times as our children mature and develop into independent, responsible adults. We have experience with life lessons, and for most of us, our objective during this stage of our children’s evolution is to lend a gentle hand of guidance and offer the security and support that they still need, although apparently they may not perceive that to be the case.
They are entering life with their eyes wide open and willing and able to grab hold of opportunities as well as take gambles with relative ease. They will learn valuable lessons because of this attitude. In our opinion, our input as parents is to stand by them and offer objective advice in a gentle fashion to guide them along their venture. They are open to everything although it may not appear this way. Everything we say and do provide them with something of significance even though they may seem reluctant to accept this.
It can be a difficult at times as a parent to stand back yet support them with some of their undertakings knowing that this adventure is going to be a challenging one. It is wise to offer advice and then step back for a moment and allow them to digest. Persistence on your part only initiates rejection and aggression. In many cases, at this age our children are head strong and will follow their hearts and their own judgement (but remember we have had an influence in the creation of this judgement). They will advance in their own chosen direction regardless of our input, so we have to know when to let go and have faith that our example over the years will be part of their deciding factors. Have faith that what we have taught them will surface and be second nature in their decision making. If their decisions create hurdles, these are lessons that will carry them forward in life. These are the lessons that will not be soon forgotten and will help with their growth and maturity.
As far as assistance and we are primarily speaking of financial assistance right now, it is important to teach them financial responsibility. The lessons of “no” early in life help them to be able to say no to themselves when trying to budget later in life. We as parents want the best for our children and some parents feel that by giving their children everything they request materially, somehow they are assisting in making their children happy. Do “things” truly make us happy?
There is nothing wrong with helping our children when they are struggling. Hopefully they are mature enough to use our assistance in appropriate ways. If they acknowledge that we have provided them with assistance that stems from the heart and can assist them not only financially but through providing guidance and support to ease their burdens then our assistance has fallen into the right hands.
On the contrary, if they waste these opportunity and squander our efforts then you will know better when the next time arrives, as undoubtedly it will. The expression “easy come, easy go” certainly has merit.
How do you feel when you have worked hard and accomplished a goal that you have set for yourself? These accomplishments build character and belief in self. Do you want your children to be able to experience fulfilment through reaching their goals and accomplishments? Is it right that we take these opportunities away from our children?
There is a fine line between assisting our children and stealing their self worth.
When these young individuals meet up with life’s challenges which you know they will, the best we can do is offer our emotional support and guidance and then stick with them through thick and thin regardless of their decision. They need support during these trying times and we are well equipped to assist them in this manner. We love them unconditionally. When they make mistakes and take what we consider wrong turns in life, they need to know we are always there, but we also have to keep in mind that all things happen for a reason. Their lessons in life are invaluable and are often in their best interest in the long run.
There comes a time that we have to recognize that it is time to allow their personalities to bloom and to let them stand on their own two feet. We have to have faith in their ability, to stand back and let them take life by the horns and run with it. Being a parent and offering loving support never ends. They have to know that they can always depend on us for this type of support.
Whatever you were missing in your youth has taught you and helped you to grow. We have learned our mature insight and worldly education through each lesson we have experienced in life. We have all walked similar roads just as our maturing children are now venturing down. Have faith in their abilities and do not stagnate their growth.
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Earlier posts can also be read on our blog – www.holmastrology.blogspot.ca/